Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
