is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize