I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
