mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize