she takes plan B like it's going out of style
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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