i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
