that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize