nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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