Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
