apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A+ Viking dick
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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