There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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