hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
