Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
