I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize