he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
someone owes me an orgasm
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
