there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
