i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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