It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
