ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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