found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
