Four minutes until I can fart!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
there is puke in my bra ... again
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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