It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
