and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
