Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think my moral compass just broke
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
