i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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