Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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