I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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