it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
