Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I cut my penus on the lid.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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