He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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