my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
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In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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