bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize