If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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