bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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