i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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