Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
