So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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