dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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