let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
