oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Enjoy the penises
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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