Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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