Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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  (917) And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater. http://tfl.nu/gzmt
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  (949): View more from California

  Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?

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  (949): Are you going to tell your therapist we boned? http://tfl.nu/8lv6
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?

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  (919): So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that? http://tfl.nu/v1uh
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl

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  (208): Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl http://tfl.nu/2pl6
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.

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  (214): Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me. http://tfl.nu/94g1
  Replies (9) Good night (585) Bad night (3101) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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  (651): I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me. http://tfl.nu/og6e
  Replies (11) Good night (1204) Bad night (3790) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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  (315): They're like penises that have been put in a blender. http://tfl.nu/9hz0
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

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  (417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f
  Replies (12) Good night (3205) Bad night (847)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?

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  (361): Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one? http://tfl.nu/k16y
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her

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  (912): I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her http://tfl.nu/j3sh
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  (914): View more from New York

  Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.

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  (914): Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive. http://tfl.nu/oqgn
  Replies (18) Good night (2054) Bad night (2224)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home

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  (918): I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home http://tfl.nu/noo6
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  (925): View more from California

  I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.

  (1-925): View more from California

  We just have a real special relationship.

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  (925): I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar. (1-925): We just have a real special relationship. http://tfl.nu/gnex
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.

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  (203): I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed. http://tfl.nu/lxpv
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?

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  (234): Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories? http://tfl.nu/bj62
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