Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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