is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
