You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
40s are totally the cure
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
