Jerry, you need to find god
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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