i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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