from now on my penis is your penis
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
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So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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