Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want