drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We need a shit load of segways right now
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
