oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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