Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
