You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
