Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
NoShamevember. You game?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
