Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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