my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
